3d6 Crit Miss
[Verse 1]
My boss came up to me at lunch
Said I'm employee of the month
Party scheduled for next week
Booze and food
It's gonna be sweet
Amstel Light
And finger food
Everyone in a good mood
The chicken wings were really greasy
Making my stomach queasy
[Bridge 1]
They called my name and started to clap
I blasted chunks in the boss's lap
[Chorus 1]
It's a crit miss
Finger food
Crit miss!
In a good mood
Crit miss!
I'm at a loss
Projectile vomit
On my boss
[Verse 2]
Driving out
To the show
I've got the urge to go
Traffic is at the main gate
It's getting hard for me to wait
Port-o-john isn't far
I take off running
Out the car
Ass gasket down
I start to squat
Man, i sure can crap a lot
[Bridge 2]
Of single-ply i'm not a fan
My fingers tear through
I shit in my hand
[Chorus 2] X 2
It's a crit miss
Got to squat
Crit miss!
Over the pot
Crit miss!
I missed the band
Because i shit on my hand
[Breakdown]
Crit miss is like an epic fail
Like dropping the soap when you're in jail
[Verse 3]
I met her at the comic con
She had her Bat-girl costume on
I was dressed as Iron Man
Before you know
We're holding hands
Things were really going well
I took her back to my hotel
Flipped up her skirt
Pulled down the thong
She said let's leave our costumes on
[Bridge 3]
Her mask fell off
Something was wrong
It was my sister all along
[Chorus 3] X 2
It's a crit miss
At comic con
Crit miss!
Shit went all wrong
Crit miss!
Not at my best
Unintentional incest
It's a crit miss