50 Pence P.I.N.T.
I don't know what you heard about me But you ain't gettin a Smirnoff for free You can sit yourself on my knee But keep you hands off my P.I.N.T. I don't know what you heard about me But you ain't gettin a Smirnoff for free You can sit yourself on my knee But keep you hands off my P.I.N.T. Now Sharon, she's in the pub, she's pullin a pint And pullin the punters if she thinks the price is right (ohh...) She's into nuts and gin With Slimline Tonic She plucked out her eyebrow with dribble lyin on it I go buy her a drink and just get her some pork scratchins But I keep her off my pint cos I think her water's catchin (euh!) It's pub quiz night and she's bad for my health She asked me 21 questions and they're all about herself (what?!) She likes my hair, she likes my car - she's in the Daily Sport I don't understand a single word Cos she comes from York I'm not that bloke that's only tryin to get her into bed I'm that bloke that's only tryin cos I'm off my head We can leave now, if you're startin to get bored We'll take the bus home cos my Nova's not insured Look luv it's simple, if you're sittin with me - Sip your drink, but don't touch my P.I.N.T. (hahaha) I don't know what you heard about me (yeah!) But you ain't gettin a Smirnoff for free You can sit yourself on my knee But keep you hands off my P.I.N.T. Bup, bup, bup, bup - burn unit F for FTY Pence - that's me I work in the Burn Unit Infirmary NHS pension 'till I'm 63 And you know that I'm representin King's Langley F for FTY Pence - that's me I'm a nature loving geezer - you can find me in the tree I'm accidentally known and locally accepted Get off my pint! So know you know about me Yeah luv, got my Reebok classics on I'm about to show you why my pint hand is quite strong You're not wrong if you think I've got a lazy eye It's cos I had a mishap with a steak and kidney pie (oops!) I downed a pint the same way I down a glass of water I swear I didn't know this bird was the Landlord's daugher Burn U.N.I.Tzy I bumped my head, and now I'm feeling dizzy I've got people in Watford that know how I get down I've got a bird in Hemel A few mates in town I've got a job in McDonald's, and I'm not messin around I've got a Big Mac, McFlurry's and a quarter pound-errr (hahaha) Just put it on my tab Pick up a donna at Millennium Keebab (hello) So closin time, and about the fightin I've got a beer-proof vest to avoid the pinting (peesh) pintinging... I don't know what you heard about me But you ain't gettin a Smirnoff for free You can sit yourself on my knee (yeah!) But keep you hands off my P.I.N.T. I don't know what you heard about me (haha) But you ain't gettin a Smirnoff for free You can sit yourself on my knee But keep you hands off my P.I.N.T. Yeah Now in Hollywood they say there's no business like showbusiness Well in the pub, Dave said, there's no business like the dole business He's a baker Ya see ifItalkreallyfastIsoundlikeapratbutifyoulistenrealfastyaknowthatIain'tgonna slow down (haha)... Yeah