Beautiful South If We Crawl
Songwriters: Rotheray, David; Heaton, Paul;If we crawl at two
We could crawl at twenty-two
And grovel at
The drop of a hat
And once they've got you down there
It's so hard to re-straighten your back
If we crawl at two
We could crawl at one o two
And the target brainless don't quite reach
Covered so kindly in your opening speech
Is a tiny crab of thought, crab of thought
On a sideways beach
Let lessons not the pupils teach
Justice not the leasers breach
And maggots not have fingers
Wagged at by leech
Well I made sure
I wrote this song in braille
So you could touch the words
The words that sail
From my mouth back to the jail
You could touch the words that sail
From the mouth back to the jail
That is posing as tongue
Curtsies, bows, thank you sirs
And the wearing of a business suit
Lead to complaints of backache
And end with a Nazi salute
And once they've got you down there
It's so hard to re-straighten your back
If we crawl at two
We could crawl at two two two
And the target brainless don't quite reach
Covered so kindly in your opening speech
Is a tiny crab of thought, crab of thought
On a sideways beach
Let lessons not the pupils teach
Justice not the leasers breach
And maggots not have fingers
Wagged at by leech
Well I made sure
I wrote this song in braille
So you could touch the words
The words that sail
From my mouth back to the jail
You could touch the words that sail
From the mouth back to the jail
That is posing as tongue
If we crawl at two
We could crawl at twenty-two
If we crawl at two
We could crawl at twenty-two