Beefy I Don't Wanna Be Right
I feel in love with you at the age of nine
In my father’s new home, a duplex design.
We dialed the wrong number like all night long.
But finally at midnight you came along.
I know right away that my life had changed.
Kind of a big deal for a kid my age.
Before middle school. Before my nuts had dropped.
Before the name Beefy. Before nerdcore hip-hop.
To be honest you’re killing me, hurting me, destroying Beefy.
But I would never give you up I swear to God.
You show me things that make me scream “Oh my lord!”
Baby you started my unnatural corruption,
My lack of exercise, and my mass consumption.
Not talking about David’s Sister, that gag’s been spent.
This is my love song to the Internet.
Dear Internet, you’ve pwned my life.
And if you had an orifice I’d make you my wife.
We’d do those freaky things that you show me daily.
Program you a voice to say, “Beefy! Spank me!”
Throw a shout out to ya when I update my blog.
5 hours without you is far too long.
You help me keep in touch with my fans,
But they don’t donate. Help me get more fans!
Let’s all thank God for miss Ada Lovelace.
Now load up my dirty pics of Gromit and Wallace.
Load Goatse and tubgirl.
Webcest from the US, all over the world.
I really don’t believe Al Gore is your father,
But to tell the truth you’d make one hell of a daughter.
Just a warning: May Cause Virginity.
You’re one half my friend. One half my enemy.
I wake up at 5:30 then I head off to class.
Do a little learning then run back to you fast.
You’re the reason for me almost not graduating
Cause I’d rather be with you than at school with their grading
And their judging and their stares, and nobody cares
If I stay with you and look up wrestling grizzly bears.
Without you I’d still be buying CDs. And DVDs. And UMDs
For my PSP but you provide for me, ASAP.
I don’t even own a PSP, I’m just trying to be cool.
I’m not the only one but I can front a lot too.
You showed me Paris Hilton blowing that dude.
Not the night vision one, I’m talking about episode two.
I’d rather spend my whole life on the Internet,
Then be some emo kid, at the park, smoking a cigarette.