Billy Simons Hello My Name Is Arthur
Why hello, my name is Arthur I grew up on the street where you live
I’m the kid from all your classes with the greasy hair and glasses
The one nobody wanted to play with
And I never had to many friends
And I, I play first chair clarinet
All my memories from the playground always waiting for a beatdown
You really packed a lot in the punch
You know I always found it funny how you said it was for money
But you knew my mama packed all my lunch
And for years now
I’ve been planning my revenge
It’s time to tell you how
This is happening
I knew you’d be surprised
I can see it in your eyes
I, I’m sleeping with your wife
Well hello, my name is Arthur I’m a partner at the firm where she works
She has been my secretary from the very first day that she transferred
And she once told me that you just can’t communicate
And she’s not lying when she says she’s working late
And two weeks ago
You weren’t around then
I came over
We used your bed
I knew you’d be surprised
I can see it in your eyes
I, I’m sleeping with your wife
I worked so hard back then so you and your whole clan
Could copy all my homework and quickly turn it in
You taught me well back then ‘bout the proper ways to cheat
And now you know why all of your children they all look like me
I knew you’d be surprised
I can see it in your eyes
I, I’m sleeping with your wife