Bo Burnham Catholic Rap
All the seats at the Sunday mass is
Filled with the masses mass of asses
Classes pass as fast as molasses
Cerimonial reading glasses
Read a little bit Leviticus
All the kids are a little too little for this
All the parents nod in agreement
I think I can vaguely see what he meant
It's too early in the morning glory
To read another allegoried story
The father reads a little bit farther
Assuring the assured that they need not bother
When god, in verse 45, says that slaves are ok to buy
He meant that people all from the start
Each have slaves within their hearts
Things that we have sold or bought
That are forced to pick our morale cotton
God calls us to set these free
Free our hearts from slavery
And then as god goes on to explain
The logistics of buying and selling slaves
In the back I sit and I nod
To the beats that are coming from my ipod
My god they're startin to pray
And over the music I can hear them say
Dear god dear lord
Dear vague muscular man with a beard or a sword
Dear good all seeing being
My way or the highway Yahweh
The blue balled anti masterbater
The great all loving faggot hater
I'd like to thank your holy mic for
Making me both rich and white and
Though this is your day of rest
I come to you with one request
There's so much pain beyond this steeple
Wars and drugs and homeless people
sadness where there should be joy
Hate and rape and Soulja Boy
A world in darkness needs your light
So I'm sure your schedules pretty tight
But my dog just had life surgery
so do you think you could fix that first?
Jesus
Debra Messing's fingers in a holey place
Hail Mary full of grace
Obama could you pass some hope to the pope
I know a couple dudes who wanna elope
See the church said nope so the bros can't cope
The bros can grope but the bros can't cope
They've been in love and they've been addicted
Who said they shouldn't benedict did
'Cuz in the holy land of the lord
his the holy landlord and dicks are evicted
'Cuz you can be a benedict
If you've been a dick under Benedict but
You can't have been a dicks
Because there's only one pope
And only one dick what
Yeah a dick on a pope is
Just like a soap on a rope
'Cuz it's pointless unless in prison
Throw up your Bibles Christ has risen
Hallelujah now it's raining men
Because the gender ratio's 1 to 10
Winos at the eucharist station
Transgendered substatiation
Jesus wasn't the messiah
Get back I'm a heretic and I'm on fire
It was Oedipis those holy nights
The holy mother f..cking Christ
I'm a blasphemer post Katrina cruisin' the marina
On crusade to cruise aids and blast FEMA
You're too late but f..ck we don't need ya
in the nae of the father son and holy ghost
head shoulders knees and toes
stick up your nose strick that pose
Haaaaa macarana