Captain Tractor Shiddy Day
I had an 8:30 meeting
I woke up at 9 am
When i called in the boss said
"don't bother coming back again"
I looked out the window
It was pissing with rain
And i knew that i'd left my windows open again
My head hung sadly
There was nothing i could say
I knew that this had to be
The start of a shiddy, shiddy day
This shiddy day
This shiddy day
When i've got beers to buy and bills to pay
On this shiddy, shiddy day
So i called up my girlfriend
To see if she was home
But it was my best friend
That answered the phone
He said, "it's over, you loser
Now leave us alone
And don't ever call back"
And he hung up the phone
She broke my tender heart
She took it all away
Yeah, well now she's just a part
Of this shiddy, shiddy day
This shiddy day
This shiddy day
That bitch she broke my heart
And i swear i'll make her pay
For this shiddy day
This shiddy day
There's lots of snakes out in the grass
Or so they say
I bumped my head
I broke a string
My hard drive crashed
Lost everything
My tv broke
My goldfish died
My soul committed suicide
Lost my keys
And stubbed my toe
My toilet plugged
And overflowed
This shiddy day just
Goes and goes and goes and goes and goes and goes and goes
Now i'm down at the bar
Drinking vodka and rye
When this pregnant girl walks up
And sits by my side
She says, "i remember you
You prob'ly don't remember me
And i shouldn't even be here
'cause i'm only seventeen"
My head spun like a top
I fainted dead away
It was the only way i could stop
The onslaught of this shiddy, shiddy day
This shiddy day
This shiddy day
I hope when i wake up this shit has gone away
I woke up this morning
Hungover again
And i knew that this shiddy day
Was never gonna end