Crucifix Pain Pill
[Intro]
In the bowels of life, the only thing we're promised is death... What do you use to kill the pain?
Rappin' was something that I did when I was younger, it wasn't about the money, it was all about the hunger. Now I'm writing while this rap game slumbers, knowing if I didn't then my pain would take me under
[Chorus]
Lookin' back on everything that I've lost, I wonder if the lesson was worth the cost. But from here until we make it to the Boss... what's your Pain Pill?
[Verse 1]
Jesus Christ, how could I understand a lesson taught to a boy that was meant for a man? All my life I had to stand between purpose and doubt, but what's the point of God's plan if I can't figure it out? A young boy with a machete, hiding in the halls, hearing screams through the windows, bullets bouncing off the walls... As a child in the slaughter it ain't about balls, it's about accepting death the moment that death calls. I remember when my daddy looked me in my eyes, and said "Son I want you to know that tonight you're gonna die, but you fight for your family and life is all that you lose... and you kill as many of these rebel soldiers before you do..." Too young to grasp the meaning of death, but old enough to grasp that killing was all we had left. So you accept the bloodshed in circumstances, and turn a blind eye to conscience while Lucifer dances. This lesson I learned came with a price... growing up believing that death was just a way of life. And to this day I feel the thunder but I never see the rain... I made it out my family's slaughter to end up dying in my pain
[Chorus]
Lookin' back on everything that I've lost, I wonder if the lesson was worth the cost. But from here until we make it to the Boss... what's your Pain Pill?
[Verse 2]
Ain't nothing sweeter than a finger of that Afgoo, to roll up my pain and blow it to my rearview. Cuz dwelling on it multiplies the anger so until I'm gone I'll be known for rolling Gorilla Fangaz! Kill it all! When I got that call from Khujo Goodie, told me that my n*** P-Nut was shot, dropped and bloodied. 3 birds to the chest but just one bird shy, to survive the fire... it took him 3 days to die. Now I hate myself, for 3 days I cried. I gave him dap the night before but never said goodbye... Then 3 days later once I've dried my eyes, I hear my cousin was tortured for 3 days and burnt alive. I was petrified! With one thing to decide... whether or not when I kill these b*** es I cut out their eyes. So as I'm walkin' out the door in a rage of revenge, I realize I'm gambling the lives of my 3 kids. So listen for wisdom, here's the lesson. Everything comes in 3s, even the blessings. So if it took Jesus 3 days to rise from the dead, then here's my Pain Pill... 3 Gorilla Fangaz to the head!!!
[Chorus]
Lookin' back on everything that I've lost, I wonder if the lesson was worth the cost. But from here until we make it to the Boss... what's your Pain Pill?
[Verse 3]
I find I'm lost inside this pain from all this death I've seen. And I don't know what it takes to make this suffering leave, until I hear the Boss saying drop your pain on me. But here I go again, seeking out a substance to take away my pain... I notice... I notice that it don't do a thang. I don't mean to be hurtin', I don't need to be burdened. If death is all that's certain then I can live by Faith. Jehovah, Father... I lay my pain at your feet
[Chorus]
Lookin' back on everything that I've lost, I wonder if the lesson was worth the cost. But from here until we make it to the Boss... what's your Pain Pill?