Dj Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince Who Stole My Car
Now a joke is a joke and funny games are chill But this isn't funny y'all this is straight up ill Now there's a limit to humor and this is goin too far I ain't laughin no more y'all now who stole my car Now I don't know if you ever had a car stolen before But it's a real crazy feeling when you walk out the door And you don't need a map or any kinda chart To know you're standin in the spot your car used to be parked Now you know you parked your car there but yet you keep lookin Cause your mind didn't accept yet that somebody took it So you're scratching your head and tryin to get things clear And it's always some idiot saying (you're sure you parked here) To call the police would be the move that is smart But instead you keep lookin where you know you didn't park Searchin for reasons like maybe tickets you owed Something to justify that - maybe it got towed But not stolen n-never forget it But then you ask yourself well where the hell is it If there was a prize you'd win dummy of the year Cause you're lookin somewhere else when you know you parked it here So through never-neverland you find yourself strollin Then when you finally accept that it's stolen You call the police and they come and say (That's the 437th car stolen today) As if that's somethin that he really needed to mention Then they start askin you real dumb questions Like (well when's the last time that you saw it) You idiot, right before they stole it Now you're mad this cop is talkin to you And somebody in your car headed to kalamazoo Officer Fool or whoever you are Would you please get off your butt and find who stole my car? I remember my first car, never forget it A candy apple red I ROC, windows deep tinted Talk about fast like a rocket to drive Went from zero to 60 in like 5.5 Imagine red rims but that wasn't enough It had a car phone for when I wanted to reach out and touch An alpine stereo the straight up rock With 12" woofers you could hear for blocks The first day I got it I was frontin real hard I could hear people sayin (damn, look at that car) I was hyped and I wanted my friends to check it out So I went to the spot where they're usually hangin out Just my luck nobody's standin outside And I didn't really feel like parkin my ride So I honked my horn and nobody was comin I thougth what the heck, I went inside and left it runnin I was inside for 20 seconds that's all I found my friends, I said, "You gotta check this out, y'all" But when we came back out the car wasn't there (Man you ain't buy nothin) I did, I swear! My friends went inside, I was mad they didn't believe me Now i'm standin outside the spot my car used to be It's hard to figure out what to do all alone But then I got it: call the car phone (Fresh Prince's car?) Yo thief, bring my car back now Before I bust your (hold up wait a minute pal) (Seems like you forgot who's got the keys) I thought: he's right, "Well, bring it back, please" Hello Mr. Thief, don't hang up Aw then luckily Jeff pulled up I told him what had happened someone stole my car I said, "Come on Jeff, let's get him, he can't be far" We rode around for about 20 minutes And we were just about to say forget it When I spotted him, I said, "Jeff, go get it!" We pulled up behind him and man dude jetted He was drivin all wild and fast Like he was gettin points for the stuff that he crashed I called him on the car phone again and I said Of course you realize when I catch you you're dead All through Philly was a high speed chase and Dude was playin around like he thought we was racin 100 miles an hour and he lost control And slammed my car into a telephone pole I ran to the car said man you're okay He said yeah so I punched him in the face The cops came up as if it was my fault They saw me punch dude and charged me with assault If his neck was closer I probably woulda grabbed it He told the cops that I said he could have it I calmed down and they got things straight I saw half my car at 7th street the other half at 8th I wanted to just jump in the ocean My car looked like it was a Lego explosion Why does life have to be so hard? Don't laugh, next time it could be your car