Eli Nicholas Moving Forward
Sometimes I find it hard to wake up
Taste of regret and cigarettes on my taste buds
Always find myself with girls that fake love
But still wish me and my ex would make up
I've hit the bottom, I'm so close to giving up
Surrounded by people all around me that don't give a f..ck
A fake smile on my face i say I'll be fine
When the truth is I'm walking on a thin line
As I look and watch reality intwine
With my dark thoughts I won't be saved in time
I know it may get better one day
And I really want a family some day
But it feels like a battle I just can't win
After everything I've been through I know in still standing
Hear me slice my heart open and let it bleed
Cuz bottling it up will sure be the death of me
People say to let it go, let myself breathe
Face reality and just let myself grieve
Cry if you need it won't make you seem weak
And I'm sick of people telling me just to be me
Try looking at my life through a broken mind
Re writing lines looking through my half open eyes
Need someone be my side looks like I'm alone tonight
Pain and heartbreaks what puts my in the zone too write
Not many people know I asked my ex to marry me
Not that long after the bitch lost her sanity
Truth of the matter is she gave my life clarity
Then lied too my face claiming that I was a dad to be
It's mad too think that I thought we were a family
I lost my mum who was also a dad too me
She kept me strong now she's gone and it's agony
Happiness for me has been nothing but a fantasy
So it seems I'm awake for another night
The girl I love is most likely with another guy
So when she said she wouldn't leave that was a f..cking lie
When my brother died she was right there by my side
She said no matter what she'll always be around
So someone please tell me where the hell is she now
Cuz right now I need her more than ever
The world is breaking me down I can't take the weather
6am in bed I'm I'm thinking to much
And my friends worry I'm drinking to much
But it helps numb the Agony
If left to myself I'm gonna drown in this apathy
I'm broken, there's a war in my heart
Self loathing, I was torn from the start
From the start were there horns on my heart
In this world I guess were all born to depart