Flanders & Swann Design For Living
Flanders: When we started making money,
Swann: When we started making friends,
Both: We found a home as soon as we were able to.
Flanders: We bought this bijou residence for about a
thousand more,
Than the house our little house was once the stable to.
Swann: With charm...
Flanders: Colour values...
Swann: Wit...
Flanders: And structural alteration,
Both: Now designed for graceful living,
It has quite a reputation.
We're terribly House and Garden,
At number seven-B.
We live in a most amusing muse,
Ever so very contemporary.
We're terribly House and Garden,
The money that one spends.
To make a place that won't disgrace,
Our House and Garden friends.
We've planned an uninhibited interior decor,
Swann: Curtains made of straw...
Flanders: We've wallpapered the floor...
Both: We don't know if we like it, but at least we can
be sure,
There's no place like Home Sweet Home.
It's fearfully Maison Jardin,
At number seven-B.
We've rediscovered the chandelier,
Tres tres very contemporary.
We're terribly House and Garden,
Now at last we've got the chance.
Swann: The garden's full of furniture...
Flanders: And the house is full of plants!
Both: It doesn't make for comfort,
But it simply has to be.
'Cause we're ever so terribly up-to-date,
Contemp-or-ar-or-y!
Flanders: Have you a home that cries out to your every
visitor,
"Here lives someone who is exciting to know"?
No?
Well, why not... collect those little metal bottle-
tops, and nail them upside-down to the floor? This will
give the sensation... of walking... on little metal
bottle-tops turned upside-down.
Why not... get hold of an ordinary Northumbrian
spokeshaver's coracle? Paint it in contrasting stripes
of, say, telephone black and white white, and hang it
up in the hall for a guitar tidy for parties.
Why not... drop in one evening for a mess of pottage?
Our speciality, just aubergine and carnation petals.
With a six-shilling bottle of Mielle du Pap, a feast
fit for a king.
I'm delirious about our new cooker fitment with the
eye-level grille. This means that without my having to
bend down, the hot fat can squirt straight into my
eyes!
Both: We're frightfully House and Garden,
At number seven-B,
The walls are patterned with shrunken heads,
Ever so very contemporary.
Swann: Our boudoir on the open plan has been a huge
success...
Flanders: Though everywhere's so open, there's nowhere
safe to dress!
Both: With little screens, and bottle lamps,
And motifs here and there.
Swann: Mobiles in the air...
Flanders: Ivy everywhere!
Both: You mustn't be surprised to meet a cactus on the
stair,
But we call it Home Sweet Home.
We're terribly House and Garden,
As I think we've said before.
But though seven-B is madly gay,
It wouldn't do for every day,
We actually live in seven-A,
In the house next door!
