When Fred'ric Was A Little Lad Lyrics

Gilbert & Sullivan When Fred'ric Was A Little Lad

When Frederic was a little lad he proved so brave and
daring,
His father thought he'd 'prentice him to some career
seafaring.
I was, alas! his nurserymaid, and so it fell to my lot
To take and bind the promising boy apprentice to a
pilot
A life not bad for a hardy lad, though surely not a
high lot,
Though I'm a nurse, you might do worse than make your
boy a pilot.

I was a stupid nurserymaid, on breakers always
steering,
And I did not catch the word aright, through being hard
of hearing;
Mistaking my instructions, which within my brain did
gyrate,
I took and bound this promising boy apprentice to a
pirate.
A sad mistake it was to make and doom him to a vile
lot.
I bound him to a pirate you instead of to a pilot.

I soon found out, beyond all doubt, the scope of this
disaster,
But I hadn't the face to return to my place, and break
it to my master.
A nurserymaid is not afraid of what you people call
work,
So I made up my mind to go as a kind of piratical maid-
of-all-work.
And that is how you find me now, a member of your shy
lot,
Which you wouldn't have found, had he been bound
apprentice to a pilot.

RUTH. Oh, pardon! Frederic, pardon! (kneels)
FRED. Rise, sweet one, I have long pardoned you.
RUTH. (rises) The two words were so much alike!
FRED. They were. They still are, though years have
rolled over their heads. But
this afternoon my obligation ceases. Individually, I
love you all with affection
unspeakable; but, collectively, I look upon you with a
disgust that amounts to absolute
detestation. Oh! pity me, my beloved friends, for such
is my sense of duty that, once
out of my indentures, I shall feel myself bound to
devote myself heart and soul to your
extermination!
ALL. Poor lad poor lad! (All weep.)
KING. Well, Frederic, if you conscientiously feel that
it is your duty to destroy
us, we cannot blame you for acting on that conviction.
Always act in accordance with
the dictates of your conscience, my boy, and chance the
consequences.
SAM. Besides, we can offer you but little temptation to
remain with us. We don't
seem to make piracy pay. I'm sure I don't know why, but
we don't.
FRED. I know why, but, alas! I mustn't tell you; it
wouldn't be right.
KING. Why not, my boy? It's only half-past eleven, and
you are one of us until
the clock strikes twelve.
SAM. True, and until then you are bound to protect our
interests.
ALL. Hear, hear!
FRED. Well, then, it is my duty, as a pirate, to tell
you that you are too tender-
hearted. For instance, you make a point of never
attacking a weaker party than
yourselves, and when you attack a stronger party you
invariably get thrashed.
KING. There is some truth in that.
FRED. Then, again, you make a point of never molesting
an orphan!
SAM. Of course: we are orphans ourselves, and know what
it is.
FRED. Yes, but it has got about, and what is the
consequence? Every one we
capture says he's an orphan. The last three ships we
took proved to be manned entirely
by orphans, and so we had to let them go. One would
think that Great Britain's
mercantile navy was recruited solely from her orphan
asylums which we know is not
the case.
SAM. But, hang it all! you wouldn't have us absolutely
merciless?
FRED. There's my difficulty; until twelve o'clock I
would, after twelve I
wouldn't. Was ever a man placed in so delicate a
situation?
RUTH. And Ruth, your own Ruth, whom you love so well,
and who has won her
middle-aged way into your boyish heart, what is to
become of her?
KING. Oh, he will take you with him. (Hands RUTH to
FREDERIC.)
FRED. Well, Ruth, I feel some difficulty about you. It
is true that I admire you
very much, but I have been constantly at sea since I
was eight years old, and yours is
the only woman's face I have seen during that time. I
think it is a sweet face.
RUTH. It is oh, it is!
FRED. I say I think it is; that is my impression. But
as I have never had an
opportunity of comparing you with other women, it is
just possible I may be mistaken.
KING. True.
FRED. What a terrible thing it would be if I were to
marry this innocent person,
and then find out that she is, on the whole, plain!
KING. Oh, Ruth is very well, very well indeed.
SAM. Yes, there are the remains of a fine woman about
Ruth.
FRED. Do you really think so?
SAM. I do.
FRED. Then I will not be so selfish as to take her from
you. In justice to her, and
in consideration for you, I will leave her behind.
(Hands RUTH to KING.)
KING. No, Frederic, this must not be. We are rough men,
who lead a rough life,
but we are not so utterly heartless as to deprive thee
of thy love. I think I am right in
saying that there is not one here who would rob thee of
this inestimable treasure for all
the world holds dear.
ALL. (loudly) Not one!
KING. No, I thought there wasn't. Keep thy love,
Frederic, keep thy love.
(Hands her back to FREDERIC.)
FRED. You're very good, I'm sure. (Exit RUTH.)
KING. Well, it's the top of the tide, and we must be
off. Farewell, Frederic.
When your process of extermination begins, let our
deaths be as swift and painless as
you can conveniently make them.
FRED. I will! By the love I have for you, I swear it!
Would that you could
render this extermination unnecessary by accompanying
me back to civilization!
KING. No, Frederic, it cannot be. I don't think much of
our profession, but,
contrasted with respectability, it is comparatively
honest. No, Frederic, I shall live and
die a Pirate King.