Horrible Histories Georgian Make-up Song
A gorgeous georgian lady, is quite a sight to see,
For some splendid beauty tips, pay attention listen to me.
White is beautiful dear ladies, smear your face with paint of lead,
Never mind the lead had made the men who mixed it ill or dead.
Take some silk of red or black, cut a circle or a cresent,
Stick it on your face to cover, smallpox scars, it's must more pleasant.
Shave your eyebrows, clean away, take a trap and catch some mice,
Make flash eyebrows with the mouse skin, stick them on, you'll look so
nice.
Next you need a monster wig, if you want to look real smashing,
Once your wig has reached the roof, then you'll be the height of fashion.
Decorate your lovely hairpiece, use the feathers of a parrot,
Add some ribbon, fruit and flowers, from your ear then hang a carrot.
Make your face look soft and chubby, pack your mouth with balls of cork,
Hang your flash teeth in the middle, hope you don't choke when you talk.
Now you followed my advice, last of all you need a fan,
Flutter it oh so demurely, then your sure to bag your man.