Horrible Histories Mary Tudor Song
King Henry 8th my father hoped I have some Tudor brothers mum had no sons,
so rather I got plenty of step mothers when at last prince Ed was born the
crown I bid adieu they said as king he must be sworn boys go first in the
queue but there’s no worry if at first you don’t succeed when Ed died I
swept aside the rest and was decreed
Mary the first that’s me Tudor lady and queen of England not to be confused
with Mary queen of Scots not the same see though weirdly she’s a cousin to
me
Some tried to say Lady Jane Grey should be queen after Ed but England
wanted me hooray so poor Jane lost her head the Protestants were saying
that my ruling made them sick ‘cause when it comes to praying my tastes
were catholic they revolted, challenged me fuelled my great desire to tie
300 to a steak light touch paper then retire
Mary the first that’s me called the bloody queen of England not what I
intended tried to be good you see but history only remembers I was a
catastrophe
Married Phillip king of Spain who then left me England he thought was a
pain especially ‘cause he told me to attack France with troops and when the
French advanced we lost Calais oops through out my reign it rained and
rained it poured upon the poor the harvest failed no food remained and flu
killed many more burned Protestants and wed a fool led armies to defeat
burned more Prots I say more rule was short but not that sweet I had no
kids called half sis Liz as a big queen Bess to be so long as she would
rule the land as a catholic queen like me
Lizee didn’t listen she made the country Protestant meaning my legacy was
ruined see everything I tried to achieve went down the swanny
Bit embarrassing really