Illmaculate & Onlyone Audiobiography
[Verse 1: Only One]
Reminisce, all I knew was mom's love
Never knew what the adult's was, cause they was on drugs
Hamburger Helper with my grandmother Ellen
In my grandma's kitchen before she died of an aneurysm
We used to eat canned food off the floor
All three of us slept on one mattress on the floor
Growing up we looked at cars, we didn't have one
I remember asking my mom where my dad was
She said he'd beat her, so she had to leave him
Growing up I didn't see him, didn't want to meet him
My first girlfriend was raped at 13
My second girlfriend was raped at 14
One time my dad pawned my mom's wedding ring
My moms got cancer when I was 17
I used to vandalize shit when I was 8
Steal kids bikes, sneak out when it was late
School I used to skip skip just to get ripped
Could've been addicted to heroin like my big sis'
I missed my sister before she left Brett
God knows how those drugs affected the M.S
15 was finally when I met my dad
16 I met my brother Big Sag
He did five years, sold dope and sold smack
Southside dropped PCP and smoked crack
Uncle John did a couple years in the pen
Cousin Tom was only 18 when he went
I've taken losses at the hands of friends
They're dead to me, I can never talk to 'em again
19 I made my first stack
20 years old I made 20 stacks
21 years old I made 60 stacks
I sent cats pounds, they never hit me back
I need to grow up, but I don't know nothin'
Can't see my own crew, don't speak to my own cousin
I spent more on hip hop than I ever made
Paid cats for verses and never got the pay
If you've never been poor, down-and-out in your life
You've never had 100 stacks to count in your life
If you've never seen 100 pounds in your life
Then you probably don't relate to what comes out on the mic
[Verse 2: Illmaculate]
I remember way back when
Coming home beat up, my dad told me never take that shit
I remember wonder why we were broke, hey, I'm still
Remember canned milk in my bowl, I used to hate that shit
Been a minute and I'm on a bad trip
Remember wanting things that we probably can't get
Was three years old when my mom and dad split
Now I think about the pressure weighing on them as kids
Kids raising kids, it is what it is
Rats in the cupboards, ain't shit in the fridge
None of the homies then ever been in the crib
Embarrassed of conditions that we lived and we hid
Before that, I remember living in my grandma's house
Looking up to uncle's rocking hand-me-downs
In the first grade I first got suspended
Around the same time I seen my dad get arrested
My past made me who I am, I accept it
Take away my memories and what am I left with?
Five years old learnt the rules of the block
When I seen my first strap get pulled on my pops
Now I'm on my own shit, I don't follow your rules
Sneaking out late night, motherfuck a curfew
You know it if you lived it then you followed in the footprints
Ducking police and hiding in the bushes
13 years old my grandpa Joe passed it
He was the first one to believe in this rap shit
His first language was Spanish, we grew up with an accent
Didn't want to pass it, I'm passed it
22 I was sharing a crib
23 lost love thought was there 'til the end
I lost a stepbrother, but he knows what he did
He's dead to me, I can never talk to him again
18 dropped out, I need to grow up
19 got jumped selling tree on a bus
26 years old stuffing P's in the trunk
27 got popped with seven P's in a bus
I was with Austin when I laid my first track
Deshonte was there when I wrote my first rap
15 years old when I won my first stack
I sent out my demos and never heard back
I need to grow up, but I don't know nothing
Probably need to own up though I don't own nothing
I spent more on hip hop than I ever made
Gave the label Skrill Talk and never got paid
If you never ever been down and you rich
If you don't remember being clowned for your kicks
If you never drove with pounds in the whip
Then you probably don't relate to what comes out when I spit
Like that…