Illmaculate Best Friend
This here is dedicated to my best friend…
Verse 1
What’s this feeling, it’s not depression it’s happiness (nah)
I’m never happy even when my life is at it’s best
Standing at a cliff, this is the closest I’ve come
To given up, it’s over I’m done, I jumped over and plunged
To the water beneath, drowning both of my lungs
I find the darkness peacefully and tries the glow of the sun
Can’t get this off my chest, my shoulder’s are holdin a ton
I’ve had many things stolen, my soul is just one
If I could talk to the past me, I woulda told me to run
In the opposite direction from the path I choose as the one
to follow, now I’m labeled by polarized sun
Who says life is supposed to be kosher and fun?
For me it’s a need to write, my brain just follows
Cause I’m not a breathing life, just a frame that’s hollow
If I had a choice to receive the light and trade my sorrow
It'd be night and I’d be seeing no day tomorrow
Chorus
I don’t hate my life, I just hate those that judge it
I don’t hate life, I just hate those that love it
I don’t love life, if you ever don’t feel the same
it won’t be there like everything else
I don’t hate my life, I just hate those that judge it
I don’t hate life, I just hate those that love it
I don’t love life, if you ever don’t feel the same
it won’t be there like everything else
Verse 2
Unless there’s a change, my most reliable friend is my pain
He’s always there at the end of the day
And I’m offended you would say, “I should be happy”
Your happiness keeps trying to get my only friend to go away
I’ve been foolish for mistakes, so I movin to a place
Secluded in the boonies cause I’m loosin all my face
I’m only human, I admit my music isn’t great
But there’s so much momentum fuel if you've been through it and relate
Seems like I’m moving through a phase, where I’m hurting in my life
I lose myself in the pages of the verses that I write
Create an image through rhyme
So he tracks a snapshot of emotions and thoughts at that particular time
It'd be different if I could just rewind, yea right
I’d probably rewind too far and see my death in a past life
That’s right, quicksand drowning me in confessions
And I’d befriended pain, and find happiness in depression
Chorus
I don’t hate my life, I just hate those that judge it
I don’t hate life, I just hate those that love it
I don’t love life, if you ever don’t feel the same
it won’t be there like everything else
I don’t hate my life, I just hate those that judge it
I don’t hate life, I just hate those that love it
I don’t love life, if you ever don’t feel the same
it won’t be there like everything else
Verse 3
Navigating this road from the backseat, trying to stop
And realizing the only time I’m happy is when I’m not
Famine the flames of depression, my madness keeps on fueling it
What’s worse - not having happiness or having it and losin it
A professor must detrude, unless it’s misconstrued
by my brain untainted by my pessimistic views
They are a safeguard that I clutch
Cause if you're hurt you’re hurt, but if you’re happy and get hurt, it’s hard to adjust
The problem is one, now I can't tell if im stronger and tough
Or just softer and numb, smarter or dumb
Look at all I’ve become, and now im steadily hopin
I can grow leather skin in traits for these leather emotions
Repetitive motion as I wave goodbye to a nice day
and a nice haze me from the skin-pelting light rays
We're time slaves and I can embrace it
Here’s a last statement, I love pain that way I don’t have to hate it
Chorus
I don’t hate my life, I just hate those that judge it
I don’t hate life, I just hate those that love it
I don’t love life, if you ever don’t feel the same
it won’t be there like everything else
I don’t hate my life, I just hate those that judge it
I don’t hate life, I just hate those that love it
I don’t love life, if you ever don’t feel the same
it won’t be there like everything else... except for pain