Country Bumpkin Lyrics

Kevin Bloody Wilson Country Bumpkin

He walked in with a bar and flocked his big blue vein upon,
A tall bar stool,
With an outback Queensland drawl he said
"Here's a couple'a stubbies and, poor one on me tool",
The young barmaid was disbelieving eyes,
Slowly poured it up and down,
And she thought "I wonder how on earth,
This country bumpkin dragged it, into town?"

And she said "Hello country bumpkin,
What's them warts there on your pumpkin?
I've seen some slugs but Christ that's somethin',
Where d'ya grow from country bumpkin?"

It was just a short year later, on a burnt out bed on a mattress
Stained and torn,
Into this outback Queensland town
Another baby banana bender was born,
With a slouch hat perch pack on its head,
And an ice cold for extoby in its hand,
And stubble growin' on its chin,
Dandy legs and a cock like his ol' man.

And she said "Hello country bumpkin,
Fresh as cow shit on the pumpkin,
You bite my tit you'll get a thumpin',
I think I must'a been pregnant or somethin'".

Forty years have passed and so first met and now her days,
Were near an end,
Her ol' man as well was showin' signs
Of slowin' down 'cause his slug had start to bend,
She was lying on her death bed, knowing full well that her race,
Was nearly run,
But she softly sighed and gazed into
The slant eyes, of her ol' man's mutt and gun.

And she said "So long country bumpkin,
The warts have gone now from your pumpkin,
We've worn 'em off with all that humpin',
See you later, country bumpkin".

And she said "So long country bumpkin,
We've worn the warts right off your pumpkin,
We shagged so much you caved me bum in,
Cop you later, country bumpkin".