Offbeat Inbetweener
[Verse 1]
People always criticise schools it seems
Saying they don't equip kids with the tools they need
But personally I think that's ridiculous
Coz I learned loads it's just none of it was on the curriculum
On my very first day I got a lesson in textiles
If you wore the wrong ones – then you were exiled
In my school if you didn't have the right brand of shoe
It was assumed that your parents had abandoned you
But it wasn't just what you wore – it's how you wore it
Rucksacks with one strap were mandatory
Having a piercing in your left ear was okay
But not the right – coz that clearly meant you were gay
All I wanted was acceptance from my mates and friends
When the bowl haircut was the latest trend
My mum wouldn't let me have it and she'd say to me “Son
You're gonna thank me one day” well that day has come
[Hook]
Sometimes I take a trip down memory lane
Before we all had jobs and bills to pay
I sit back and reminisce about the good old days
But most the time I thank god it's changed
[Verse 2]
I learned more about Social Studies in recess
Than from a fuddy duddy in a tie and tweed vest
I discovered that the door to popularity had two keys
One was brute force the other was beauty
I learnt that the way to gain approval from the group came
From being mean to people lower than you in the food chain
And much to my own shame and disappointment
I made the simple choice that if you can't beat 'em – join 'em
Back when Iron Mike was biting Holyfield's ear off
We were arguing over who the hardest kid in the year was
But it was clear to all from the bus ride home
Whoever sat in the back seat occupied the throne
But occasionally a challenger would step in the ring
With the intention of usurping the king – the only thing
That we never seemed to learn was 200 kids chanting
Always led to fights getting broken up before they started
[Hook]
Sometimes I take a trip down memory lane
Before we all had jobs and bills to pay
I sit back and reminisce about the good old days
But most the time I thank god it's changed
[Verse 3]
I didn't learn about sex in a biology lab
Most of my knowledge came from a pornography mag
Back when random boners were a constant fear
“Would you like to come up to the front?” no, really I'm cool here…
And as if puberty wasn't hard enough to manage
I got my first taste of heart ache and anguish
My first relationship lasted 2 days
And is still one of my top 5 most painful breakups to date
All the hottest girls dated older guys
Who could already drive and I swear were like 25
I couldn't wait to be as old as these people
Now I look back like “Was that shit even legal?”
But all in all it wasn't so bad – apart from the slang and vocab
The hair and the clothes fads, the pressure to smoke fags
The fights and the romance…
In fact screw that place – I never want to go back!
[Hook]
Sometimes I take a trip down memory lane
Before we all had jobs and bills to pay
I sit back and reminisce about the good old days
But most the time I thank god it's changed