Online Romance I Drank Only Water
My lost love invited me to share a meal, you see. I'd
supply the vegetables and she'd provide the tofu and
the tea. Her memory still haunted me, but Thursday
seemed as good a time as ever. I arrived, standing at
her door with a wet paper sack of carrots, sprouts and
celery. She lead me to the kitchen in the back. I felt
my composure crack when she turned and handed me the
cutting board. All I want is for her blue eyes to link
with mine. I vainly hoped that we'd pretend that things
were still just fine, but she's ruined by society and
I, by what's inside of me. Now she's pulling out the
wine. She says it is a '60 Chardonnay. I wouldn't know
the difference so I cough and fake the next line of our
play. I know but will not say all the things she would
have rather heard along the way. As we eat, her hands
shake just a bit. I thought she might be nervous but
she soon removes the last doubt benefit, and when she
spoke she spit. She is on her seventh glass already. I
watch my table manners. I won't provoke a fight but I'm
walking on calm coals that threaten to come alight. My
stomach's pleased and yet my mind, it does ferment just
like the wine here on this painful night. Her eyes give
me a glare across the feet between these seats, where
we sit opposite and chew our bites like speaking was
obscene. My train of thought careens and crashes into
memories of us smiling. But then she speaks: She feels
that we'd be better off had we added in the pepper five
minutes into the simmering of the broth. I smooth the
tablecloth and contemplate the least offensive words. I
watch my table manners. I won't provoke a fight but I'm
walking on calm coals that threaten to come alight. My
measurements were all correct but now i see as i
reflect, i was never really right. The table is
prepared with delicate ghosts of moments shared at
times when I didn't know I cared. Oh, but I'm such a
sentimental fellow, because all these forks and knives
I see are just figments of a relative history, 'cause
they're only visible to me and not the girl I wish
could see them. It seems she can't see anything at all
beyond the half-empty plates that now cover the length
of the table.
