Original Broadway Cast Tango Maureen
JOANNE Mark? MARK Hi. JOANNE I told her not to call you MARK That's Maureen But can I help since I'm here JOANNE I hired and engineer. . . MARK Great! Well, nice to have met you JOANNE Wait! She's three hours late The samples won't delay But the cable - MARK There's another way Say something - Anything JOANNE Test - One, two, three. . . MARK Anything but that JOANNE This is weird MARK It's weird JOANNE Very weird MARK F..ckin' weird JOANNE I'm so mad That I don't know what to do Fighting with microphones Freezing down to my bones And to top it all off I'm with you MARK Feel like going insane? Got a fire in your brain? And you're thinking of drinking gasoline? JOANNE As a matter of fact - MARK Honey, I know the act It's called, the 'Tango Maureen' The Tango Maureen It's a dark, dizzy merry-go-round As she keeps you dangling JOANNE You're wrong MARK Your heart she is mangling JOANNE It's different with me MARK And you toss and you turn 'Cause her cold eyes can burn Yet you yearn and you churn and rebound JOANNE I think I know what you mean BOTH The Tango Maureen MARK Has she ever Pouted her lips And called you 'Pookie' JOANNE Never MARK Have you ever doubted a kiss or two? JOANNE This is spooky Did you swoon When she walked through the door? MARK Every time - so be cautious JOANNE Did she moon over other boys--? MARK More than moon-- JOANNE I'm getting nauseous MARK It's hard to do this backwards. JOANNE You should try it in heels! She cheated MARK She cheated JOANNE Maureen cheated MARK F..ckin' cheated JOANNE I'm defeated I should give up right now MARK Gotta loko on the bright side With all of your might JOANNE I'd fall for her still anyhow BOTH When you're dancing her dance You don't stand a chance Her grip of romance Makes you fall MARK So you think, 'might as well' JOANNE 'Dance the Tango to Hell' BOTH 'At least I'll have Tangoed at all' The tango Maureen Gotta dance til your diva is through You pretend to believe her Cause in the end - you can't leave her But the end it wil come Still you have to play dumb Til you're glum and you bum And turn blue MARK Why do we love when she's mean? JOANNE And she can be so obscene MARK Try the mike JOANNE My Maureen (een, een, een. . .) MARK Patched JOANNE Thanks MARK You know - I feel great now! JOANNE I feel lousy BOTH The Tango: Maureen!