St. George And The Dragonet Lyrics

Stan Freberg St. George And The Dragonet

Pd... [Narrator:] The legend you are about to hear is true Only the needle should be changed to protect the record

[St. George:] This is the countryside My name is St George I'm a knight

Saturday, July 10th, 8:05 pm I was working out of the castle on the nightwatch when a call came in from the Chief A dragon had been devouring maidens Homicide My job, slay him

[St. George:] You call me, Chief

[Chief:] Yes, the dragon again, devouring maidens The King's daughter may be next

[St. George:] Mmm-hmm You got a lead

[Chief:] Oh, nothing much to go on Say, did you take that .45 automatic into the lab to have them check on it

[St. George:] Yeah, you were right

[Chief:] I was right

[St. George:] Yeah, It was a gun

8:22 pm, I talked to one of the maidens who had almost been devoured

[St. George:] Could I talk to you, Ma'am

[Maiden:] Who are you

[St. George:] I'm St. George, Ma'am Homicide, Ma'am Want to ask you a few questions, Ma'am I understand you were almost devoured by the Ma'am, Is that right, dragon

[Maiden:] It was terrible He breathed fire on me He burned me already

[St. George:] How can I be sure of that, Ma'am

[Maiden:] Believe me I got it straight from the dragon's mouth

[St. George:] 11:45 pm I rode over the King's Highway I saw a man Stopped to talk to him Pardon me, Sir Could I talk to you for just a minute, Sir

[Knave:] Sure, I don't mind

[St. George:] What do you do for a living

[Knave:] I'm a knave

[St. George:] Didn't I pick you up on a 903 last year for stealing tarts

[Knave:] Yeah, so what Do you wanna make a federal case out of it

[St. George:] No, Sir We heard there was a dragon operating in this neighborhood We just want to know if you've seen him

[Knave:] Sure, I've seen him

[St. George:] Mmm-hmm Could you describe him for me

[Knave:] What's to describe You see one dragon, you seen 'em all

[St. George:] Would you try to remember, Sir Just for the record We just want to get the facts, Sir

[Knave:] Well, he was, you know, he had orange polka dots...

[St. George:] Yes, Sir

[Knave:] Purple feet, breathing fire and smoke...

[St. George:] Mmm-hmm

[Knave:] And one big bloodshot eye right in the middle of his forehead and Uh, like that

[St. George:] Notice anything unusual about him

[Knave:] No, he's just your run-of-the-mill dragon, you know

[St. George:] Mmm-hmm Yes, Sir You can go now

[Knave:] Hey, by the way, how you gonna catch him

[St. George:] I thought you'd never ask A Dragonet

3:05 pm I was riding back into the courtyard to make my report to the lab Then it happened It was the dragon

[Dragon:] Hey, I'm the fire-breathin' Dragon You must be St George, right

[St. George:] Yes, Sir

[Dragon:] I can see you got one of them new .45 caliber swords

[St. George:] That's about the size of it

[Dragon:] Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha You slay me

[St. George:] That's what I wanted to talk to you about

[Dragon:] What do you mean

[St. George:] I'm taking you in on a 502 You figure it out

[Dragon:] What's the charge

[St. George:] Devouring maidens out of season

[Dragon:] Out of season You'll never pin that rap on me Do you hear me, cop

[St. George:] Yeah, I hear you I got you on a 412 too

[Dragon:] A 412 What's a 412

[St. George:] Over-acting. Let's go

[Narrator:] On September the 5th, the Dragon was tried and convicted His fire was put out and his maiden-devouring license revoked Maiden devouring out of season is punishable by a term of not less than 50 or more than 300 years...Pd. ...Pd...