Stephen Sondheim Parlor Songs
BEADLE:
Sweet Polly Plunkett lay in the grass,
Turned her eyes heavenward, sighing,
"I am a lass who alas loves a lad
Who alas has a lass in Canterbury.
'Tis a row dow diddle dow day,
'Tis a row dow diddle dow dee ..."
MRS. LOVETT: Oh, beadle Bamford, I didn't know you were
a music lover, too.
BEADLE: Good afternoon, Mrs. Lovett. Fine instrument
you've acquired.
MRS. LOVETT: Oh yes, it's my pride and joy.
BEADLE:
Sweet Polly Plunkett saw her life pass,
Flew down the city road, crying,
"I am a lass who alas loves a lad
Who alas has a lass loves another lad
Who once I had
In Canterbury.
'Tis a row dow diddle dow day,
'Tis a row dow diddle dow dee ..."
Well, ma'am, I hope you have a few moments, you see
there's been complaints.
MRS LOVETT: Complaints?
BEADLE: It's about the stink from your chimney.
Just a routine inspection of course. : Ah, one of
mother's favorites . ..
If one bell rings in the Tower of Bray,
Ding dong, your true love will stay.
Ding dong, one bell today
In the Tower of Bray...
Ding dong!
Anyway Ma'am, health regulations being my duty,
I'm afraid I'll have to ask you to take a look.
MRS LOVETT: At the bakehouse?
BEALDE: That's right, Ma'am.
MRS LOVETT: Oh, but it's locked you see, and I don't
have the key.
Mr. Todd, he's got the key, and he's not here right
now.
BEADLE: When will he be back?
MRS LOVETT: Well i couldn't say, im sure.
BEADLE: Well we'll just have to wait for him, won't we?
But if two bells ring in the Tower of Bray,
Ding dong, ding dong, your true love will stray.
Ding dong —
TOBIAS: Ding dong! Two bells today in the Tower of
Bray.
Ding dong, ding dong...
BEADLE: What's that?
MRS LOVETT: Oh. oh that's just the lad what helps me
with the pies.
BEADLE: Well surley he's in the bakehouse, well isn't
he?
MRS LOVETT: Oh yes, yes, oh yes of course!
But you see, last week he run off and we found him 2
days later down by the
embankment half-starved, poor thing.
So ever since then, we locks him in for his own
security.
Oh! do have a try at the third bell, it always touches
my heart.
BEADLE: If three bells ring in the Tower of Bray...
Since you're a fellow music lover, ma'am,
why not raise your voice along with mine?
MRS. LOVETT: All right.
BEADLE:Ding dong!
MRS LOVETT: Ding dong!
BEALDE: Ding dong!
BOTH: Your loves gone away
BEADLE: Ding dong!
MRS LOVETT: Ding dong!
BEADLE and TOBIAS: Ding dong!
BEADLE: Three bells today!
BOTH: In the Tower of Bray.
BEADLE and TOBIAS: Ding dong, ding dong, ding dong...
BEADLE: If four bells ring in Tower of
MRS. LOVETT: How many bells are there?
BEADLE: Twelve.
Ding dong!
MRS. LOVETT:Ding dong!
TOBIAS:Ding dong!
BEADLE:Ding dong!
BEADLE, MRS. LOVETT and TOBIAS:
Then lovers must pray! ...
BEADLE: Ding dong!
MRS LOVETT: Ding dong!
TOBIAS: Ding dong!
BEADLE: Ding dong!
BEADLE and TOBIAS: Four bells today, in the Tower of
Bray.
ALL: Ding dong, ding dong, ding dong
BEADLE and TOBIAS: Ding dong!