Straight Outta Junior High University Of Shitfaced
Welcome students it’s sure nice to see you at this year’s orientation
Let me serve up some cocktails and fun facts on why this fine school’s #1
Evan Williams, he founded this school, way back in nineteen eighty eight.
Then he moved to his grandmother’s basement where you can find him to this day.
Our school colors are gold green and black, for beer and vomit and hangovers
Our school mascot is Ghangi the cat he gets high on catnip and clovers
I attended the University of Shitfaced and got my degree
Our school fountain it pisses a stream of cheap wine and cigarette butts
All the coeds that walk around campus are cheap lousy obnoxious sluts
[Interlude]
There’s school spirits at every event, the stands are all packed with fun lovers
In the games we’re too drunk to fight back but we celebrate when it’s over
I attended the University of Shitfaced and got my degree
Our professors they don’t give a damn about you, your goals, or your grades
They spend all their time toasted and macking on freshmen so they can get laid.
That’s a dumb question I’m real glad you asked, there is no library dumbass
If by some chance you make it to class you have to pass out just to pass
Your tuition is just the bar tab so go out and have a good time
But at this point you don’t realize you’ll pay for the rest of your life
I attended the University of Shitfaced and got my degree
I attended the University of Shitfaced and got my degree
[Solo]
Go Fight Win Room will spin
Nothing more fun than drunk driving
Through a fence into a yard
Grab another beer and party hard
Go Fight Win get bed spins
Wake up on the bathroom floor again
Take some Meth or Vicodin
Find your clothes and start again
I attended the University of Shitfaced and got my degree
I attended the University of Shitfaced and got my degree