Vic Mensa 2honest
[Intro: Snoh Aalegra and Vic Mensa]
Loneliness speaks through my smile
It seems the darkest lullaby
La, la-la-la, la-la, la
La, la-la-la, la-la, la
I call a 51-50 on myself
That's how you know I need help
I call a 51-50 on myself
That's how you know I need help
[Verse 1: Vic Mensa]
Tears of a fallen soldier, rollin' down my face
One hand stickin' out of my grave
The whole world left me for dead, Michael Jackson's estate
But I'm too high, I'll never land
A river that knows its source, can never run dry
That's why I had to cut out the middle man
Hate from all directions, assassinatin' my character
I felt like Malcom X and J. Edgar Hoover's America
I said the truth and I paid for it, I paid for it
I got on my knees and cried to the Lord, I prayеd for it
I have bounties on my head, whеn my sister was in my home
Sleepless night by the chrome, trigger finger next to my dome
Contemplatin' self destruction, equatin' myself to nothin'
Fixated on my regression, I felt like Benjamin Button
I collapsed in my depression, I just couldn't write for nothin'
When I stared at my reflection, all that I felt was disgusted
My confidence evaporated, less than a man, I was emasculated
I turned to violence to be validated
Violated probation again and again
My kin and my friends like, "What the f..ck, is up with you fam?"
Don't you understand? Niggas wanna f..ck with you fam
But you keep f..ckin' yourself and that f..cks with your fans
[Chorus: saint jhn and Snoh Aalegra]
Pardon me, my nigga I believed the lie
I can't be too honest (Ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh)
The pain behind your eyes, tells me that it's not what you wanted (Ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh)
And it's hard to explain to the people standin' still why you're runnin' (Ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh)
I was runnin' from the absolute savage that I know I'm becomin'
[Post-Chorus: Vic Mensa and Snoh Aalegra]
I call a 51-50 on myself
That's how you know I need help
I call a 51-50 on myself
That's how you know I need help (Oh, oh)
[Verse 2: Vic Mensa]
Do you know what the f..ck it feels like to wake up every day in distress?
Pissed off at yourself, neglect, so you just lay in your mess
And people depend on you, got so much shit on your chest
That your train of thought can't seem to find a way to express
I found a notebook in my parents crib, from when I was five
I went inside and it said "I hate myself" I wanted to die, cryin'
I couldn't even fathom the child feeling so lonely
So next time a nigga tell you 'bout Vic, say they don't know me
I need to be loved, I need to be loved
I needed the drugs 'cause I couldn't do it
I couldn't do it, I was goin' through it
Growin' up I was a product of my biracial confusion
Neither black nor white, I guess that makes me translucent
I crushed everything I touched
I f..cked every single slut but I just couldn't bust a nut
In my stomach I plummet into my dungeon
Down in the depths of my darkness
I'm steppin' over my carcass, I'm comin' out of my hatred
Tired of my heart bein' vacant
I made a promise, won't break it
I told my momma we'll make it
I told my gang we gon' make it
If they won't give it to us, we'll take it
One thing that is true, is my greatness
Promise I won't doubt, I'll believe it
I'm exercisin' my demons, for the last time
[Chorus: saint jhn and Snoh Aalegra]
Pardon me, my nigga, I believed the lie
I can't be too honest (Ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh)
The pain behind your eyes, tells me that it's not what you wanted (Ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh)
And it's hard to explain to the people standin' still why you're runnin' (Ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh)
I was runnin' from the absolute savage that I know I'm becomin'
[Outro: saint jhn]
But pardon me, my nigga, isn't this ain't life you said that you wanted?
You know the car's movin' fast, what a view, and the women are stunnin'
And it's hard when you're comin' from the bottom tryin' not to become it
So I'm runnin' from the absolute savage, that I know I'm becomin'
Comin', yeah, ayy