Wurzels Twice Daily
When I were a lad I were so glad
To go out in the daytime
With me fork and a bottle and a cork
To help out in the hay time
While tossin' hay upon the mound
Met young Lucy Bailey
Said "My dear are you of'n here?"
She said "Yes sir, twice daily"
We 'ad such fun, in the summer sun
Lucy were so thrillin'
Sweet and pure, but I weren't sure
That young maid were willin'
'Til one day among the hay
We was workin' gaily
She ups 'n slips, zummat rips
And I went there twice daily
She said "Dear, I do feel queer."
"Think I ought to tell 'ee."
"T'ain't new bread", she sadly said
"That's swellin' up me belly."
"Oughter go to Doctor Joe"
Off she went so gaily
He gave her a dollop of gert thick jellop
Said "Take this twice daily."
Now Lucy's dad were very mad
Chased I round the hay mound
Said "My son, you've 'ad your fun,"
"The time has come to pay now."
"My girl you'll wed", the old man said
As he waved his shotgun gaily.
"If you don't", 'ee said, "I'll put some lead"
"And you won't go there twice daily."
Well the very next day in the month of May
'eld the ceremony
Paid off the vicar with a gallon of liquor
Rode to church on a pony.
And the village folks for miles around
Waved and shouted gaily.
There's no doubt, you'll get caught out
If you go there twice daily.
Now to Lucy's joy she 'ad a boy,
What a little darlin'.
Round and fat as a Cheshire cat,
Perky as a starlin'
Skin were smooth as a cider jar
And they called'n Buster Bailey,
Fed 'n on swedes and chardock weeds
And a pint of scrump twice daily.
Now we'm old our story's told
Been forty years together
And we often stray where we tossed the hay
In that old-time summer weather.
Kids we've got, full 10 or more
We goes on quite gaily.
Though I'm old and grey, when I gets me way...
I still goes there twice daily!