Clawjob Space Crackers
OVERTURE
MADELEINE: I locked Greg in the lab
He was getting a little weird
I tried again to make a transmission to Earth
But ground control didn't respond
Something bad is happening
And I'm up here alone
I've gotta figure out a way
That I can get back home
GREG: Who's whispering those equations?
Is there anybody there?
I already killed the robo-butler...
But there are still voices everywhere
Is the ship computer speaking?
Or are they coming from inside me?
These voices, they're telling me to mix these chemicals...
What's happening to my mind?!
JULIAN: We're taking heavy losses
The Dooks are eating us alive
Their alien metabolism
Keeps their hunger from subsiding
We're holed up in Fort Zaffo
Our lasers toward the gates:
A slight tactical advantage
As we lay here and wait
DOOK ATTACK
DOOK: We're the Dooks of Doom and we would like to give our thanks to you
For gathering yourselves in such a closed-off space
This is quite a spread of appetizing human flesh
I guess that you could call it an all-Dooks-can-eat buffet!
SOLDIER: We should have spent more R&D funds on mechs!
Now a Dook's got his jaws around my neck!
DOOK: Salivary acid drips from our tongues!
Our super-sharpened claws tear through your lungs!
SNIPER: I've got my rifle trained on you...
You can't see me from up here... arghghghh!!!
SOLDIER: I'm being strangled with my own spine!
They harvest us like fruit from a vine!
DOOK: We ate your family and burned your home!
Now we're sucking the marrow from your bones!
A HERO FALLS
DR.O: Julian, I'm dying, but I have one last assignment for you:
You must set off the nukes, to destroy the Dooks
And put a stop to their hunger forever
I know it sounds drastic, but I've done some calculations
At this rate, our world is doomed. All life on Earth will be consumed
The hunger of the Dooks, it knows no limits
H He N
GREG: Mixing chemicals in the lab, I can envision quantum reactions
I see things no one else has ever seen:
Hydrogen, helium, nitrogen
Looking closely into each and every atom, vibrating strings...
I can pull them into new configurations:
Hydrogen, helium, nitrogen
TROUBLESHOOTING
MADELEINE: Space Station Troubleshooting Guide, Chapter Five:
In case of emergency, make transmission to Earth
Space Station Troubleshooting Guide, Chapter Nine:
In case of transmission break, wait twelve hours and repair shuttle crew will arrive
But it's been weeks. Nobody came
Space station will be where I die: suicide
Slow starvation, or dehydration as we use up our supplies
JULIAN'S MOMENT OF THOUGHT
JULIAN: Madeleine, wish you could hear me
Want you to know I'm thinking of you
Here on Earth, things are so crazy;
Aliens are eating us alive
Dr. O, oh, he told me to
Set off the nukes. I don't know what to do
Madeleine, I don't want to
Murder every human being on Earth
But I guess that the Dooks do
I never thought I'd have to make this choice
Who says Dr. O knows anyway?
Maybe we can find another way...
But as I ride my bike up to the blasted heath of the landing site
I look through my trusty rusty telescope. I see that all the grass
And the leaves have turned grey... and that the ground is littered
With the bones of birds, and the limbs of small animals. A lone
Dook is refueling the Doomship for its return to space, and their
Next feed...
But soft! The doctor was right!
If I don't destroy them, they'll use M for target practice tonight
And their blood-thirst unslaked, they'll move on to the next planet
Leave a trail of death in their wake!
Oh M, I am so sorry that I can't be there
You see there's quite a complication to our plans down here...
And though our future's disappearing
And there's no way you can hear me
Please know I love you, Madeleine!
There will always be a point in space-time
At which you are right by my side
I will always love you, Madeleine!
Oh no!
The Dook!
He sees...
Me!
MAN VS. DOOK
DOOK: I see you, tasty human!
I am a Dook of Doom and
When we finish eating Earth
We'll eat the rest of the universe!
JULIAN: My name is Julian; you Dooks have eaten all my friends!
Your trail of interstellar slaughter is about to end!
Twenty-seven floors below your landing site is Nuke Control
You're in my way, it's one-on-one; try and eat my laser gun!
GREG'S MENTAL BREAK
GREG: Hey, this chemistry's not so tough with a helpful voice in my head!
I've been poking at gravitons, transforming noble gases
Oh Madeleine, you won't believe the mental breakthroughs I've achieved!
I'm so close I can taste it now: synthetic crackers from space!
Healthful, cheap, and produced without pollutants, toxins, or waste!
Oh Madeleine, you won't believe the mental breakthroughs I've achieved!
FAILURE
MADELEINE: I can't believe our failure
The whole f..cking mission was in vain
Julian, what happened?
Thirty weeks ago, we were so happy, and since then I can't explain...
Anything
JULIAN: A glowing blue Dook tooth has skewered through my chest
I could just lie down here and die. It would be nice to have a rest...
SET OFF THE NUKES
DR. O?!?: Set off the nukes to destroy the Dooks
Set off the nukes to destroy the Dooks...
JULIAN: Is that you, Dr. O?!? My battered body is so weary...
GREG: My calculations seem to fit. It's time to test the theory
JULIAN: Oh Madeleine, I have to find the strength to do the deed
GREG: The particle accelerator's ramped up to nominal speed!
JULIAN: If only I can reach the panel, lift the lid, and turn the key...
GREG: The chemicals are mixing! The atoms smashing! It's too bright to see!
JULIAN: I've done it. God forgive me. The countdown has begun
GREG: It worked! In my hands the first SPACE CRACKER, golden as the rising sun!!