Rachel Bloom Die When I'm Young
[Verse 1 - RACHEL]
I don't live for the future
I don't live in the past
I throw my hands up in bliss
Ready for the world's kiss
No regrets or hesitations
Taking chances
[Chorus - RACHEL]
'Cause I wanna die when I'm young
Burn out fast and dance forever
I wanna die when I'm young
'Cause-
[Spoken Interlude - RACHEL, DR. WEINBLATT]
[RACHEL]: Hello?
[DR. WEINBLATT]: Hi, Rachel, it's Dr. Weinblatt calling with your test results
[RACHEL]: Oh hey, what's up?
[DR. WEINBLATT]: I'm afraid to say the biopsy came back positive
[RACHEL]: What do you mean, positive?
[Chorus - RACHEL]
I'm gonna die when I'm young
I didn't expect this to literally happen
I'm gonna die when I'm young
I guess this is what I wanted
[Verse 2 - RACHEL]
Back in the club shakin' my ass
Then I have to lay down for a while
(Yeah, lay down!)
Hang with the DJ, spin a coupla tracks
And then I throw up bile
(Cool!)
Gettin' freaky with a hottie
And we just don't stop
The way he's touchin' up my body
Makes my panties drop
I say, "I'm dyin'."
He says, "I'm sorry."
I say "Let's f..ck."
He says, "I'm sad now."
[Chorus - RACHEL]
Gonna die when I'm young
I should have had my home checked for asbestos
Gonna die when I'm young
Yeah, it was way cooler in theory
[Verse 3 - RACHEL]
Doctors give me heavy sedatives
O-M-G, I'm such a stoner!
Hands are feelin' up my body
'Cause I'm an organ donor
I'm dyin' young just 'cause I lived too fast
Also, I have a tumor
[Rap Break - FETUS]
Yo, y'all think you're so cool for dyin' young? Well, I'm an aborted fetus, motherfucker! I died so young, I didn't even live!
I'll never go to preschool or the prom
So I get bitches hotter than my teenage mom
I spit rhymes faster than my stem cells heal
So let the beat drop like my nuts never will
[Chorus - RACHEL (spoken)]
Die when I'm young
Oh God, this is terrifying!
Die when I'm young
Please, I take it back!
Die when I'm young
I never should have aborted that pimp-ass fetus!
Die when I'm young
[FETUS]: Shit that bitch is dead!