Rachel Bloom Ladyboss
[Intro - RACHEL]
Huh! This is an anthem!
Huh! For all the ladies out there!
Huh! Runnin' their own shit!
Huh! 'Cause bein' a boss is empowering!
Huh! But it's also kinda weird
Huh! So this is how it feels to be a hashtag ladyboss!
La-la-ladyboss! La-la-ladyboss!
[Chorus - RACHEL]
I want you to do what I want, but let me say it in a nice way
Oh right, I shouldn't care if you think I'm nice
Do you think I'm a bitch? Well, I don't give a shit!
But if I do give a shit, does that make me weak?
Ladyboss!
[Verse 1 - RACHEL]
La-la-ladyboss tips!
Take big swings and suppress the fear of catastrophic failure
Other women aren't a threat, but some see you as a threat, like, "What did I do to you, Taylor?"
Demand a raise and don't say "I know other people could do my job"
Get a Ruth Bader Ginsburg pillow for your office to muffle the sound of sobs
Huh!
(Sobbing)
[BOSS]
Rachel, we need you in the meeting
[RACHEL]
Coming!
[Verse 2 - RACHEL]
I want you to do what I want, but let me say it in a nice way
Oh right, I shouldn't care if you think I'm nice
Do you think I'm a bitch? Well, I don't give a shit!
But if I do give a shit, is that internalized misogyny?
Is it?
[DEREK]
I have some very useful thoughts on this
[RACHEL]
Not now, Derek!
[FEMALE COLLEAGUES]
Ugh!
[Verse 3 - RACHEL]
And how much boob is too much boob?
How much boob is too much boob?
On my deathbed I'll still be asking...
[OLD RACHEL]
How much boob is too much boob?
[RACHEL'S DAUGHTER]
Where's the money? WHERE'S THE MONEY, YOU OLD BITCH!?
[Chorus - RACHEL]
I want you to do what I want, but let me say it in a nice way
Oh right, I shouldn't care if you think I'm nice
Do you think I'm a bitch? Well, I don't give a shit!
But if I do give a shit-
[Outro (spoken)]
Seriously, Taylor, what is your problem with me?
[TAYLOR]
I don't know. I guess that deep down, I think your success means my failure
[RACHEL]
Wow, okay. Um, let's talk about that
[FEMALE COLLEAGUE]
Yeah, f..ck the music video!
[TAYLOR]
Well, I guess it started in elementary school, when I was being kinda loud, and then this one teacher said, "Why can't you be quiet, like Jessica?"
[DEREK]
I have some very useful thoughts on this too!
[RACHEL]
Derek! Just give us five minutes, okay?
[DEREK]
You got it, boss!
[RACHEL]
Continue
[ALL]
Ladyboss!
