Stephen Sondheim A Bowler Hat
(Kayama picks up a derby.)
[VERSE 1:]
[KAYAMA]
It's called a bowler hat
I have no wife
The swallow flying through the sky
Is not as swift as I
Am, flying through my life
You pour the milk before the tea
The Dutch ambassador is no fool
I must remember that
[VERSE 2:]
I wear a bowler hat
They send me wine
The house is far too grand
I've bought a new umbrella stand
Today I visited the church beside the shrine
I'm learning English from a book
Most exciting
It's called a bowler hat
[VERSE 3:]
(Kayama brings out a watch.)
It's called a pocket watch
I have a wife
No eagle flies against the sky
As eagerly as I
Have flown against my life
One smokes American cigars
The Dutch ambassador was most rude
I will remember that
[VERSE 4:]
I wind my pocket watch
We serve white wine
The house is far too small
I killed a spider on the wall
One of the servants thought it was a lucky sign
I read Spinoza every day
Formidable
Where is my bowler hat?
[VERSE 5:]
(Kayama puts a monocle to his eye.)
It's called a monocle
I've left my wife
No bird exploring in the sky
Explores as well as I
The corners of my life
One must keep moving with the times
The Dutch ambassador is a fool
He wears a bowler hat
[VERSE 6:]
(Kayama puts on a pair of glasses.)
They call them spectacles
I drink much wine
I take important pills
I have a house up in the hills
I've hired British architects to redesign
One must accommodate the times
As one lives them
One must remember that
(Kayama holds up a tailcoat.)
It's called a cutaway