Dane Cook Driveway Intruder
This is another one too. and I know ur like me
I HATE it when somebody turns around in my driveway.
Your just sitting comfortanly watching tv. You hear a
car pu-. "wha-. who is this?" hhehh. It's so
dissruptive you look out, strange car, you don't know
if its a government official-you start getting
concerned. WHAT I don't know this car! Then they turn
to leave and your like,
YOU SON OF A BITCH! You wasted moments of my life!
moments I will never get back!
Ah. someday I'm gonna run out to that car before they
leave- knock on the window,make em' roll it down and
go. "You ever turn around in my driveway again. I'll
cut your f..cking head off!." "I'm gonna put your head
on my intenna. and drive around. with your head, on my
intenna."
And hopefully, I'll get a two-fer and the person will
go "ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR FUCKING MIND!" then I'll pull
out a switch blade and they go. " YOU REALLY ARE OUT OF
YOUR FUCKING MIND!" and I go "ZANGZADAN!"
(Applause)
I hope they never come back and try to turn around in
that driveway again. Cuz then I'll be in the window
like. DAMNITT. NOW I GOTTA CUT THIS GUYS HEAD OFF!