Turn On's Slash Turn Off's Lyrics

Dane Cook Turn On's Slash Turn Off's

There's certain things in a person that turn you on.
They're called turn-on's. Teeth. I love a girl with
nice teeth.
If you have a nice set of teeth, that's a turn-on for
me.
If you open your lips and it's like "fchank fchank
fchank",
if it's like a booby trap -
I don't like when you open your mouth and it's like a
battle of epic
proportions goin' on and your teeth are all screamin'
at each other.

"I'm a molar, wisdom tooth, get the f..ck out of my
gums!"

"Hi, I'm a buck tooth and I like to be outside, past
the lips.
I enjoy a nice sea breeze from time to time."

"Ahh! I'm the crazy yellow tooth that looks like corn!
Don't brush me! Don't brush me! I have an imagine to
uphold.
Don't brush me, I'm yellow. I'm a yellow fang."

Turn-on's. Then there's something called turn-off's and
those are things
that turn you off.
If you were a droid, "uhnneww", you'd be turned off.
Like right off the bat, number one thing I don't like:
I don't like a stinky pussy. It's a turn-off.
I don't appreciate that.
Ladies, I'm sure you don't like a funky sack.
But then again, that'd be a great couple.

"You have a stinky pussy!"
"Smell my sack!"
"Ugh!"
"Huh?"

Turn-on's slash turn-off's - that's what we're talking
about right now.